"a friend loves at all times"

Friendship. What a seemingly simple, yet terribly complex topic. See, the thing about friendship is, you both have to be on the same page in order for it to work. Best friends should be the easy one: I'd do anything for you, you'd do anything for me. Done deal. But it doesn't always seem to work like that. What happens when you'd do anything for your friend, and that person won't reciprocate?


I've learned an awful lot about friendship lately. I have been on both the giving and receiving end of unconditional love, receiving it when I didn't deserve it, and giving it where it wasn't deserved. Out of everything I've learned these past few months, this has been the hardest to deal with, on both ends. On the surface, receiving unconditional friendship should be simple. However, it most definitely is not. Receiving it means I did something wrong, and my friend forgave me. Maybe I shouldn't generalize here. For me, this was hard. Sometimes guilt and shame are so heavy, it is hard to accept forgiveness, or even fathom why you'd be forgiven in the first place.


It wasn't until I was on the giving end of unconditional friendship that I could finally understand how or why it could be given to me. Only then did I realize what it truly meant to be selfless. Here's a quick lesson: you are truly selfless when you put someone else in front of yourself, even when it causes you immense pain. I used to think being selfless meant doing something nice for someone, or saying kind words. But those things are easy to do. What if someone so close to you wrongs you so badly, you feel pain you couldn't have even imagined them imposing on you? Do you put those feelings aside and help them anyway, despite the pain they've caused?


According to Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loves at all times." Even when it is inconvenient, even when it is painful. I've always (perhaps wrongfully) prided myself on being a good friend. If you know me at all, you know I'm insanely emotional, and I wear my heart on my sleeve. For as long as I can remember, I've had a hard time letting close friendships go without a fight. Looking back, it was probably because of selfish reasons. Who will I lean on if I don't have you? I'm finally realizing that friendship isn't about having someone to lean on. It is about allowing someone to lean on you. It is only if they allow you to do the same, that you have a true, selfless friendship.


There's much, much more I could say on this topic, but I will save it for another day. Until then, remember, "true friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not."